Monday, December 27, 2010

New way to submit!

If you take a look up at the top of the blog ^ you'll now see a link that says Submit a story now! This will take you to a form to fill in quickly and easily so you don't need to worry about emailing.  Also, you can choose whether or not you'd like your submission to be anonymous!

Hope everyone had a happy holiday! :)

Thursday, December 23, 2010


Today was our annual Holiday Party.  Jason, Amy, Meredith and I were out in the hallway getting things set up as students were coming into homerooms.  Once girl from another homeroom came out to go to the bathroom.

"Hattie!" Jason yelled, as per his usual greeting.

"Hey, gorgeous," was Hattie's reply.  Not quite what we were expecting.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Whales Blow

I had my students working in centers a couple of days ago.  Hattie was working on a center of Main Idea and Supporting Details.  Her main idea was "Whales blow."  She did have supporting details to go with it though.  Some of those were: "Whales can be identified by the size of their blows." "Right Whales make 2 low blows with their twin blow wholes." "The sperm whale makes a blow that is angled forward." :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Mouth Filter

Some students are blessed with the ability to think before they speak.  Most, though, are not.  Molly overheard the following conversation between one of these non-filtered students, Herman, and another student, Hattie had been absent for several days.

"Why were you out so long?" Herman asked.
"I was sick," Hattie replied and continued on with her work.
Henry wasn't satisfied, "No, but how were you sick?"
Hattie thought for a moment, "I just didn't feel good."
Henry still wasn't satisfied, "Throwing up? Diarrhea? What?"
Hattie got very red and went back to her work.
"Come on. What did you have?" Herman continued.

At this point, Molly stepped in and explained that, although she was glad he was worried about the health of his fellow student, it wasn't appropriate to ask anyone those questions.  He apologized for being "too intrusive".

Monday, December 20, 2010

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Tonight is the first winter solstice lunar eclipse in centuries.  Currently, my students are talking about the moon and its phases in science class.  One of my students was very excited when he came over to see me after science.

"Did you know there's a lunar eclipse tonight?" Herman asked me, "The moon will be red and everything."

"What makes it red?" I asked him.

"I don't know.  It must be embarassed 'cause everyone's looking at it or something." he replied.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Oh Canada!

Today we were making a video to send to our Canadian ePals.  We had written the scripts and practiced on previous days to be ready for today's shoot.  I tod them to get what they needed because we were ready to head to our locations.

"Wait!" Henrietta shouted, "I have to go the bathroom and fix my hair.  I can't have people in Canada thinking I look like this! I'm representing America."

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Truth about Pregnancy

Molly's student, Herman, just became a big brother.  "Do you know it hurts really bad?" he asked her upon returning to school, "Like really, really bad?"
"Oh really?" was her response.
"Yeah," he said, "You guys [meaning women] can keep doing that for a while.  We [men] don't want it."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Good use of simile...

Clare was teaching her students about the Makah tribe. They're a whaling tribe that will sing to the whales before they kill them.  In their song they promise them gifts for the sacrifice they are making for the tribe.  Herman raised his hand and added: "That's like giving exercise equipment to a paralyzed person."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Just Not Getting It...

A teacher was taking his class on a field trip the following day, and was going over ground rules with them.  Herman, a student who wasn't going on the trip because have behavioral issues, kept raising his hand to ask questions.
"Can we bring fried chicken for lunch?"
"You could if you were going, Herman, but since you're not, maybe you could bring it for your school lunch instead."
Herman had another question, "Ok, but can I bring my CD player for the bus?"
"If you were going, you could, but you're not.  This doesn't apply to you."
"I know, but should I wear jeans or my church pants?"
Exasperated, his teacher responded, "Herman, you may wear jeans tomorrow because you're going to be staying at school, not going on the trip."
The next day, he showed up with his fried chicken, and his CD player, wearing his fancy church pants - all to sit in the in school suspension room for the day.

Thanks Georgeann!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Silent Lunch Part 2

As I said before, Silent Lunch is our Lunch Detention.  It's for things like verbal bullying, horseplay, inappropriate language, etc.  Occasionally, though, there are some Silent Lunch reasons that go above and beyond :)

Here are a couple more:

"Hattie received a silent lunch for using glue on her belly button while riding on the bus." Maybe it was falling off?

Henrietta's reason: "Using inapproprate language about Herman to Helen."
Helen's reason: "Repeated inappropriate language from Henrietta to Herman to cause a disruption."

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Inventions of the Year

My kids get the weekly magazine: Time for Kids.  These weeks edition was about the Best Inventions of 2010.  It featured things like the Superhero Suit, the Hardworking Robot, and eLegs.  Herman's favorite invention, though was the AirPod.  A air powered car that doesn't pollute. 

"I'm gonna get one of those when I get older," he told me.  "It'd be nice to have around the house.  I could run to the store and it would cost like 10 cents.  If I take a car, it probably takes $1 to go all the way to the store.  This would save me so much money."

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


When I sneeze, I tend to sneeze loudly and several in a row.  I've always been that and I'll always be that way.  It often takes my students a couple of weeks to figure that out.  They'll start off saying "Bless you" after each one, but eventually they realize to just wait, it'll be awhile.  Earlier in the year, I was teaching a lesson and could feel sneezes coming on.  I sneezed 5 or 6 times in a row pretty loudly and looked up to a stun class. 

"You sneeze a lot," Herman said after a couple seconds.  "It's kinda scary....could you warn us the next time that's going to happen?"

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Things They Don't Teach You in College

There are some things that teachers have to learn while working in the classroom.  One of those things is how to hide your laughter.  Bethann learned this recently as she was discussing Toy Story 3 with her 6th grade students.  She was explaining to them how excited she was to see the final movie because her children had grown up watching the original.  The students weren't exactly sure what movie she was talking about until she started naming characters like Rex, Mr. Potatohead, and Buzz Lightyear.  Herman's face lit up with recognition as he proclaimed, "I remember that movie.  I have a little Woody!"

This is the point where you bite your lip and turn your head. :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Christmas Presents from 6th Graders

In Clare's room, she has a classroom store where students can earn "money" throughout the year and buy certain things - erasers, stickers, pencils and more!  Around Christmas time last year, she reminded her students that they could buy presents for their friends and family in the classroom store as well.  Herman was checking out the supply and suggested to Clare that they buy a weed wacker to include as one of the items.  "To do yard work?" she wondered. "For my mom's pits." he replied.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Parental Saturday: Never give in!

Christie had a student pulled out of her classroom by the principal to discuss an incident reported by the bus driver.  Herman had apparently been sticking his head and arms out of the window while the bus was in motion on several occasions.  He was given a detention to serve the following day.  The next day, Herman was brought to school by his mother, who wanted to speak to the principal about the incident.
     "Herman says he didn't do it," his mother explained, "I don't think he should get in trouble for something he didn't do."
     "I interviewed several witnesses who said the same thing the bus driver did," the principal told her.
     "Well those witnesses must have been mistakened, because Herman says he didn't do it."
     The principal opened a file on his computer and a video of a bus started playing.  Herman was clearly visible with both arms and head out of the window.
     "That must be another child, because Herman says he didn't do it."

Friday, December 3, 2010

Sometimes teenagers say the darndest things

A male substitue was filling in for a high school Social Studies teacher.  One of the classes was a particularly trying group of students with a girl, the ring leader, sitting in the very front of the room.  Upon having enough, he looked at her and tried out a phrase his parents had used successfully on him growing up.  He pointed his finger at her, "Don't try me." he said.  She didn't even blink an eye and responded, "I'd love to." Not thinking he could deal with things like that on a day to day basis, he decided to become an accountant.

Thanks Georgeann!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

If a word rhymes, it's pretty much the same thing

Clare was reading a story to her class about Hanukkah on the first day of the holiday.  She was explaining to the students about the popular jewish toy - the dreidel.  "I've heard of them before," Herman shouted out, "In that song that makes babies fall asleep."  "Which song are you talking about?" Clare asked him, puzzled. His reply: "You know the one. 'Rock-a-bye baby on the tree tops...when the bough breaks the dreidel will fall..."

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Bridget was working with her math students in small groups.  There were several groups around the room and she was moving from group to group keeping track on their progress.  Herman was in a group on the other side of the room and needed the teacher's help.  He raised his hand and called out "Sugar Mama"....His face got red as he realized his mistake.  That wasn't what he meant to say.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That Poor Beanie Baby

Georgeann had a student who severely didn't like school.  He made this very apparent as he hung a newly invented Beanie Baby in his locker with a homemade noose.  His mother didn't seem to see anything wrong with this, and thought it was blown out of proportion.  10 years later, she read about that student in the newspaper where he had been arrested for assualt.  So remember, it might start with a Beanie Baby, but escalate from there!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Calling All Teachers

My students say a lot of funny things - but in order to keep this blog going, I need input from teachers like you! Have a funny story to share? Simply click on the link to my email address on the right side of the page and share! You could be a featured teacher!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Parental Saturday: Moving on...

Parent teacher conferences are always an interesting time, as seen in past posts. This year, a teacher was explaining about a novel she was reading with her class. The novel is Harris and Me and is about some boys and the trouble they get into. She was explaining that the student might be able to get into it because it was silly. "If you don't mind me saying," she explained, "They do things like blowing up a frog."

"Oh, that's fine," was Herman's mother's response, "I got a frog drunk once. Herman wouldn't know about that cause I was only young when I did it, but I got a frog drunk."

Friday, November 26, 2010

Vision Test

Every year, it's the responsibility of the nurse to do a vision screening on each student - the traditional cover one eye and read the chart vision screening. This typically gets done during special times, and even more specifically, during Library because of its close proximity to the nurses' office. Corie made an announcement that the students of a certain class would be going over a view at a time for their vision tests.

"Vision test?" Herman yelled from the back of the room, "I can't have a vision test, I just ate lunch!"

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Edition

On the day before Thanksgiving, I had my students write in their writing journals about what they were thankful for. Many of them got started right away, and turned in their journals when they were done. I started reading them and was very impressed by many who were thankful for their parents, their house, food, etc. Hattie's, though, had a different list: "I'm thankful for my Nintendo DSi, my laptop, my Wii, my TV, my cell phone, my IPod Touch, and money." I put the journal down and went over to her. "What about your family, your friends, etc.? Aren't you thankful for some other things as well?" I asked. "Well," she replied, "They gave me those things, so I guess so."

Don't forget to show your thanks to those you are thankful for! :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Say Cheese!

Yesterday, Hattie brought a digital camera with her to school.  She had it out during Language Arts class and was showing it around.  Her teacher instructed her to put it away and not get it out again.  Hattie put it in her locker.

On the way out to pick up the students at recess, I observed a group of girls posing and crowding around one girl in particular.  "It looks like she has a camera," I said to my co-workers. As they approached the lines to head inside, I noticed Hattie had her hand in her pocket.  "Did you bring the camera out with you?" her teacher asked her. "No," Hattie replied, looking shocked. "Mrs. H. saw what looked like you taking pictures," her teacher went on, "What's in your pocket." "My hand," Hattie replied. "Take out your hand." She removed her hand from her pocket, but there was still an obvious buldge that revealed something else was still inside her sweatshirt.  "What's that?" her teacher asked her. "It's something else," was Hattie's reply, "Not my camera."  "Show it to me then," the teacher instructed. Hattie sheepishly removed the digital camera from her pocket.  Enjoy serving that silent lunch!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

They come out of nowhere...

One day while walking in from recess, the students had to go around a large white box truck that was parked in their way.  It looked very similar to this:

Most of the students had no problem recognizing that there was something that they needed to go around, and did so accordingly.  Not Herman, though.  I watched as he approached the truck and went right up to the front and center. He then stopped, took several steps back, and rammed into the truck with his shoulder a full force.
"Herman!" I yelled, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Oh," was his reply, "I didn't see it."

Monday, November 22, 2010

More Tips for a Pregnant Teacher

A student came up to Corrie, a pregant teacher, at the end of class to offer some advice.    "Make sure you don't stand too much," Herman let her know. "My mom did and her kid turned out deaf." (Herman's not deaf, so we're not really sure who he was referring to...) Advice to keep in mind though!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Inferencing - Use Your Skills

While reading the Epic of Gilgamesh with her 6th grade students, Kim read a line in which the main character drank seven mugs of ale.  From the back of the room, she heard Herman exclaim, "He was HAMmered!" Well, he was probably correct.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Parental Saturday: See a What?

Parent Teacher Conferences are always interesting.  Sometimes, though, more so than others.  Last year, while meeting with Hattie's family, we could tell that Hattie's Dad wasn't very interested in what we were saying.  He seemed distracted and we could tell he wanted to talk about something he thought was very important.  After we finished our spiel, her father just about busted at his chance.  He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, "Wanna see a dead body?" he asked us....

Apparently, while at work that day, he and his coworkers had stumbled across someone who had committed suicide and he decided it was a good idea to take a picture and then share it with his daughter's teachers at a conference that evening.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Sometimes kids are more perceptive than you realize

Clare was having a serious conversation with one of her students about goals and the future.  They were talking about their parents and the choices and goals they made for themselves.  Herman revealed how much he actually listens when he said, "You want to know how many years ago my mom gave up on her dreams? I'll give you a clue.  I'm 11 years old." Be careful what you tell your may end up in school!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Guess that depends on your definition of real...

Kids tastes and opinions are constantly changing.  One minute they love one thing, the next, they love another.  Hattie gave a clear example of this during a discussion she had with her teacher.

"My tastes have really changed," she said, "I used to like things like Kidz Bop.  Now, I like real artists like Justin Bieber."

I think maybe those tastes need to keep changing!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

That's not the rule I remember

During a class today, Kim K. heard this comment made from one student to another:

Herman: "Isn't a bowel movement like 'i before e except after c?"

Not quite...close, though!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sticking to your Guns

I've seen a lot of forged signatures before, but one day, a student handed me the worst one I had ever seen.  It was in pencil and had been erased and retried several times, and even then, looked horrible.  I pulled a previous signature and compared it and found that it was not correct.  I confronted Herman about it, showing him real signature.  "My mom signed it this morning." He told me, "That's her signature." I told him that I was going to call his mom to confirm this.  "Go ahead." was his reply.  During prep that day, I called his mom to verify.  She had never seen the paper and had never signed it.  When I confronted him again, after the talk with his mom, he still said "My mom signed it.  I didn't sign it, it's her signature."  Even with his mom saying no, he still never gave in that he did it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Those Aren't Coming In My House!

As a teacher, I've gotten tons of excuses about why homework isn't done.  Deb, a two time contributor now, received a pretty good excuse not too long ago.  Herman never had his homework done.  He wouldn't do anything at home.  Finally, the teachers asked him what was going on and why he hadn't been doing his work.  His reply, "My parents told me I'm not allowed to bring any of my books home."  Why would they want those awful things coming into their homes?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Pregnant Teachers and their Students

A fellow teacher of mine is due December 8th.  This means that over the summer, her belly really started to show.  6th grade students, who she had the previous year as 5th graders, entered her room for a class a few weeks into the year.  A student mentioned something about her baby to the teacher.  Herman overheard the comment and said, "Wait, you're pregnant?" "Yes," replied the teacher. To another student, Herman said, "Oh, I just thought she got fat over the summer."

Thanks Corrie!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Parental Saturday: Think Before You Act

Apples don't fall too far away from the learn from their parents.  Saturday's will be focused on Stuff Parents Say - which can sometimes be just as good!

A common form of communication for parents and teachers is emails.  Teachers, therefore, have to read the email addresses provided by the parents. I don't think that's always thought through.  If your email address is vaguely or overtly sexual in nature, please don't share it with us!  We don't want to see any addresses that include the words "thang" "dirty" or end in 69 or XXX.  There are countless places where an email address can be obtained for free.  A simple gmail account with your first and last name will definitely suffice in communication with us.  You can even get it forwarded to your lovely personal email adress for ease of use.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Poverty Reasons

Every year, I read the book Holes with my 6th graders.  Poverty and homelessness comes up pretty frequently.  We were having a discussion about this, and I asked them, "What would be a reason that someone would be in this kind of situation?" Herman raised his hand, "Lack of education." "Good answer. You can't get a good job if you don't have the skills.  Anything else." Herman 2 "Because they're African-American.".......He then continued to say, "No offense Hattie, no offense Herman, no offense Henrietta." He was making sure that the African-American students were not offended, but in doing so, he also included an Indian American student.  Oi.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tribute to Veterans

Not all things that students say are funny - some are deep and moving.  For Veterans' Day this year, our school held an assembly honoring Veterans.  We had over 70 Veterans with ties to students come to be recognized during the assembly.  Before beginning, we stood as a group as the 6th grade band played the Star Spangled Banner while we sang along.  One teacher, as the song was being played, noticed one of her students crying.  "Are you okay?" she whispered to him as the song continued. He nodded, "I'm fine. I'm just really happy to be here right now."

Thank you to all who are serving or have served for our country.  We truly appreciate you!

Thanks, Molly!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What's the matter with this answer?

A teacher was instructing her students on the different states of matter - solid, liquid, and gas. This was latest in a series of lessons on this topic.    During the lesson, the teacher posed this question: "In what state is most of the matter in the universe?" After some consideration, Herman raised his hand and responded "Texas since it is so big" *Face palm* - Not only is that not a state of matter, but Alaska is the biggest state!

Thanks Deb O'D!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Silent Lunch

In our school, if there's a major infraction - disrepect, inappropriate language, lying, etc. - the students serve a Silent Lunch.  This is basically a lunch detention.  There are times when some of those reasons are so funny that it's hard to punish them for it.  These are a couple of those:

  • Hattie lied to a teacher saying she didn’t do her homework because of a death in the family.  Her mom confirmed that there was no death in the family.
  • Hattie used glue on her bellybutton on the bus.
  • Herman asked another student if he wanted to “Suck Oprah’s boob”

Opening Post!

This blog is going to be used to feature crazy and funny things my students and other teachers' students say throughout the day.  There's always something said to make us stop and think.  All male students will be called Herman and all female students will be called Hattie.  Here's an example from a previous year.  I gave the assignment of writing a haiku to my language arts students.  Most were fairly normal, but Herman came with one that made me smile:

Joe is almost bald
He would be completely bald
If not for his back. 

Hope you enjoy! If you're a teacher who has some to share, please send me a message or email at