That Poor Beanie Baby

Georgeann had a student who severely didn't like school.  He made this very apparent as he hung a newly invented Beanie Baby in his locker with a homemade noose.  His mother didn't seem to see anything wrong with this, and thought it was blown out of proportion.  10 years later, she read about that student in the newspaper where he had been arrested for assualt.  So remember, it might start with a Beanie Baby, but escalate from there!

Calling All Teachers

My students say a lot of funny things - but in order to keep this blog going, I need input from teachers like you! Have a funny story to share? Simply click on the link to my email address on the right side of the page and share! You could be a featured teacher!

Parental Saturday: Moving on...

Parent teacher conferences are always an interesting time, as seen in past posts. This year, a teacher was explaining about a novel she was reading with her class. The novel is Harris and Me and is about some boys and the trouble they get into. She was explaining that the student might be able to get into it because it was silly. "If you don't mind me saying," she explained, "They do things like blowing up a frog."


"Oh, that's fine," was Herman's mother's response, "I got a frog drunk once. Herman wouldn't know about that cause I was only young when I did it, but I got a frog drunk."

Vision Test

Every year, it's the responsibility of the nurse to do a vision screening on each student - the traditional cover one eye and read the chart vision screening. This typically gets done during special times, and even more specifically, during Library because of its close proximity to the nurses' office. Corie made an announcement that the students of a certain class would be going over a view at a time for their vision tests.


"Vision test?" Herman yelled from the back of the room, "I can't have a vision test, I just ate lunch!"

Thanksgiving Edition

On the day before Thanksgiving, I had my students write in their writing journals about what they were thankful for. Many of them got started right away, and turned in their journals when they were done. I started reading them and was very impressed by many who were thankful for their parents, their house, food, etc. Hattie's, though, had a different list: "I'm thankful for my Nintendo DSi, my laptop, my Wii, my TV, my cell phone, my IPod Touch, and money." I put the journal down and went over to her. "What about your family, your friends, etc.? Aren't you thankful for some other things as well?" I asked. "Well," she replied, "They gave me those things, so I guess so."


Don't forget to show your thanks to those you are thankful for! :)

Say Cheese!

Yesterday, Hattie brought a digital camera with her to school.  She had it out during Language Arts class and was showing it around.  Her teacher instructed her to put it away and not get it out again.  Hattie put it in her locker.

On the way out to pick up the students at recess, I observed a group of girls posing and crowding around one girl in particular.  "It looks like she has a camera," I said to my co-workers. As they approached the lines to head inside, I noticed Hattie had her hand in her pocket.  "Did you bring the camera out with you?" her teacher asked her. "No," Hattie replied, looking shocked. "Mrs. H. saw what looked like you taking pictures," her teacher went on, "What's in your pocket." "My hand," Hattie replied. "Take out your hand." She removed her hand from her pocket, but there was still an obvious buldge that revealed something else was still inside her sweatshirt.  "What's that?" her teacher asked her. "It's something else," was Hattie's reply, "Not my camera."  "Show it to me then," the teacher instructed. Hattie sheepishly removed the digital camera from her pocket.  Enjoy serving that silent lunch!

They come out of nowhere...

One day while walking in from recess, the students had to go around a large white box truck that was parked in their way.  It looked very similar to this:

Most of the students had no problem recognizing that there was something that they needed to go around, and did so accordingly.  Not Herman, though.  I watched as he approached the truck and went right up to the front and center. He then stopped, took several steps back, and rammed into the truck with his shoulder a full force.

"Herman!" I yelled, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Oh," was his reply, "I didn't see it."

More Tips for a Pregnant Teacher

A student came up to Corrie, a pregant teacher, at the end of class to offer some advice.    "Make sure you don't stand too much," Herman let her know. "My mom did and her kid turned out deaf." (Herman's not deaf, so we're not really sure who he was referring to...) Advice to keep in mind though!

Inferencing - Use Your Skills

While reading the Epic of Gilgamesh with her 6th grade students, Kim read a line in which the main character drank seven mugs of ale.  From the back of the room, she heard Herman exclaim, "He was HAMmered!" Well, he was probably correct.

Parental Saturday: See a What?

Parent Teacher Conferences are always interesting.  Sometimes, though, more so than others.  Last year, while meeting with Hattie's family, we could tell that Hattie's Dad wasn't very interested in what we were saying.  He seemed distracted and we could tell he wanted to talk about something he thought was very important.  After we finished our spiel, her father just about busted at his chance.  He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, "Wanna see a dead body?" he asked us....

Apparently, while at work that day, he and his coworkers had stumbled across someone who had committed suicide and he decided it was a good idea to take a picture and then share it with his daughter's teachers at a conference that evening.

Sometimes kids are more perceptive than you realize

Clare was having a serious conversation with one of her students about goals and the future.  They were talking about their parents and the choices and goals they made for themselves.  Herman revealed how much he actually listens when he said, "You want to know how many years ago my mom gave up on her dreams? I'll give you a clue.  I'm 11 years old." Be careful what you tell your kids...it may end up in school!!

Guess that depends on your definition of real...

Kids tastes and opinions are constantly changing.  One minute they love one thing, the next, they love another.  Hattie gave a clear example of this during a discussion she had with her teacher.

"My tastes have really changed," she said, "I used to like things like Kidz Bop.  Now, I like real artists like Justin Bieber."

I think maybe those tastes need to keep changing!

That's not the rule I remember

During a class today, Kim K. heard this comment made from one student to another:

Herman: "Isn't a bowel movement like 'i before e except after c?"

Not quite...close, though!

Sticking to your Guns

I've seen a lot of forged signatures before, but one day, a student handed me the worst one I had ever seen.  It was in pencil and had been erased and retried several times, and even then, looked horrible.  I pulled a previous signature and compared it and found that it was not correct.  I confronted Herman about it, showing him real signature.  "My mom signed it this morning." He told me, "That's her signature." I told him that I was going to call his mom to confirm this.  "Go ahead." was his reply.  During prep that day, I called his mom to verify.  She had never seen the paper and had never signed it.  When I confronted him again, after the talk with his mom, he still said "My mom signed it.  I didn't sign it, it's her signature."  Even with his mom saying no, he still never gave in that he did it.

Those Aren't Coming In My House!

As a teacher, I've gotten tons of excuses about why homework isn't done.  Deb, a two time contributor now, received a pretty good excuse not too long ago.  Herman never had his homework done.  He wouldn't do anything at home.  Finally, the teachers asked him what was going on and why he hadn't been doing his work.  His reply, "My parents told me I'm not allowed to bring any of my books home."  Why would they want those awful things coming into their homes?

Pregnant Teachers and their Students

A fellow teacher of mine is due December 8th.  This means that over the summer, her belly really started to show.  6th grade students, who she had the previous year as 5th graders, entered her room for a class a few weeks into the year.  A student mentioned something about her baby to the teacher.  Herman overheard the comment and said, "Wait, you're pregnant?" "Yes," replied the teacher. To another student, Herman said, "Oh, I just thought she got fat over the summer."





Thanks Corrie!

Parental Saturday: Think Before You Act

Apples don't fall too far away from the tree...kids learn from their parents.  Saturday's will be focused on Stuff Parents Say - which can sometimes be just as good!

A common form of communication for parents and teachers is emails.  Teachers, therefore, have to read the email addresses provided by the parents. I don't think that's always thought through.  If your email address is vaguely or overtly sexual in nature, please don't share it with us!  We don't want to see any addresses that include the words "thang" "dirty" or end in 69 or XXX.  There are countless places where an email address can be obtained for free.  A simple gmail account with your first and last name will definitely suffice in communication with us.  You can even get it forwarded to your lovely personal email adress for ease of use.

Poverty Reasons

Every year, I read the book Holes with my 6th graders.  Poverty and homelessness comes up pretty frequently.  We were having a discussion about this, and I asked them, "What would be a reason that someone would be in this kind of situation?" Herman raised his hand, "Lack of education." "Good answer. You can't get a good job if you don't have the skills.  Anything else." Herman 2 "Because they're African-American.".......He then continued to say, "No offense Hattie, no offense Herman, no offense Henrietta." He was making sure that the African-American students were not offended, but in doing so, he also included an Indian American student.  Oi.

Tribute to Veterans

Not all things that students say are funny - some are deep and moving.  For Veterans' Day this year, our school held an assembly honoring Veterans.  We had over 70 Veterans with ties to students come to be recognized during the assembly.  Before beginning, we stood as a group as the 6th grade band played the Star Spangled Banner while we sang along.  One teacher, as the song was being played, noticed one of her students crying.  "Are you okay?" she whispered to him as the song continued. He nodded, "I'm fine. I'm just really happy to be here right now."

Thank you to all who are serving or have served for our country.  We truly appreciate you!

Thanks, Molly!

What's the matter with this answer?

A teacher was instructing her students on the different states of matter - solid, liquid, and gas. This was latest in a series of lessons on this topic.    During the lesson, the teacher posed this question: "In what state is most of the matter in the universe?" After some consideration, Herman raised his hand and responded "Texas since it is so big" *Face palm* - Not only is that not a state of matter, but Alaska is the biggest state!

Thanks Deb O'D!

Silent Lunch

In our school, if there's a major infraction - disrepect, inappropriate language, lying, etc. - the students serve a Silent Lunch.  This is basically a lunch detention.  There are times when some of those reasons are so funny that it's hard to punish them for it.  These are a couple of those:

• Hattie lied to a teacher saying she didn’t do her homework because of a death in the family.  Her mom confirmed that there was no death in the family.
• Hattie used glue on her bellybutton on the bus.
• Herman asked another student if he wanted to “Suck Oprah’s boob”

Opening Post!

This blog is going to be used to feature crazy and funny things my students and other teachers' students say throughout the day.  There's always something said to make us stop and think.  All male students will be called Herman and all female students will be called Hattie.  Here's an example from a previous year.  I gave the assignment of writing a haiku to my language arts students.  Most were fairly normal, but Herman came with one that made me smile:

Joe is almost bald
He would be completely bald
If not for his back. 

Hope you enjoy! If you're a teacher who has some to share, please send me a message or email at rzeby024@gmail.com.